Small town dreams

Towns like those, where you could recall every detail of every place you had ever been;

where everyone knew everyone but she never felt seen.

Where like routine she drove on the same roads and on the streets;

and all of it seemed intimate to her heart, whatever the eye meets.

Towns like those where familiarity sat on every corner and every curve;

but it made her feel like she was persistently living with an exposed nerve.

Where who met whom was every evening's chatter;

women bringing down women by judging a friend, a sister or a daughter.

Towns like those made her feel like she was stuck in a loop;

shenanigans of the same sort in the same place with the same group.

Identical corners and faces all alike;

boredom is an understatement it was the loneliness that was the most hurtful strike.

 

She desired always to move far away and change the game;

a new job, or maybe even a new name.

She started packing hoping to run away;

determined that the promise of nostalgia would not make her sway.

And when she made it, she took up work of not much significance;

to her, being a nobody in a big city was of paramount importance.

Back where her roots belonged she only faced rejection,

but nobody cares in the city, who was to tell her that she was walking towards dejection.

Wishing to find someone to fall in love with or become just friends;

the rush of strange emotions so new and an old life which she hoped she ends.

Maybe a sweet boy to marry or an insignificant position to carry;

she knew this is what she wanted, her heart would never vary.

She left those alleys, not wanting to remember the season of the purple flower;

sat on the floor and for years she cried in her shower.

In a strange land in anticipation of "the better life";

her biggest aspiration ever was to become "that foreign lad’s wife".

A peck for the mother, a hug for the father before the final goodbye;

if she told you she wasn't miserable in the new life, you now know how much of it is a lie.

Still in her mind every moment she screams and screams;

yet still chases "the better life", but please only blame her desperation and her oh-so-bittersweet small town dreams. 

Until next time
Love always,
S