Chinar.

 

In the quiet lanes of a sleepy town,
Where the days drift by in shades of brown,
Lived a girl with dreams that seemed too small,
Yet in her heart, she craved it all.

She watched the city girl, bright and bold,
Who came for a while, her story told,
With laughter like bells, and eyes that shone,
A life that sparkled, her own outshone.

In secret corners, a fire burned,
A jealousy deep, never discerned,
Petty thoughts, a bitter taste,
For the girl she envied, but never faced.

She married a pleb from a distant town, 

Come D-day in the mirror, hence she saw a clown

She left town on a cloudy day,
for the likes of her, as was the way,

In her life’s tale, no grand designs,
Just faded hopes and broken lines,
Also in the city, she found no light,
Just shadows that deepened every night.

Now she walks through crowded streets,
A face among thousands, no one greets,
Once full of dreams, now empty, cold,
A story forgotten, a tale untold.

For in her heart, she always knew,
She’d never be enough, never true,
To the girl she was, or wished to be,
Just a memory lost in the endless sea.

It was in the heart of the quiet town of Ummajj, that there lived a girl whose dreams were as vast as mountains: Chudan. She fell prey to desperation caused by her yearning for love from Chaman, a boy whose mysterious charm had captured her since they first met. What Chudan did not know was that Chaman was dying with a secret he could never confess to, not in a society that would shun him for it. He was unclear about his preferences or better put 'inclinations' —camouflaged behind the mask of masculinity, flaunting to the world through any/every woman's affection, something which he actually never had—the courageousness to accept the reality and be able to live with it.

Blinded by emotions, Chudan gave Chaman the only thing she thought would make him love her in return—the surrender of her virtue or at least what she offered. Because that's the only way he won't leave her for the city girl, or so she thought? She felt the action would attach them, and finally give her the attention she so desperately craves. Chaman saw an opportunity torn between his desires and social norms ruling his life. He declined the 'offer' from Chudan, making her feel all the more unwanted. Instead, he used her vulnerability to feed his emotional needs, all the while trying to woo another girl from the big city—more vibrant, more worldly—to the side. It was also from a hope that a city girl perhaps, would be open-minded enough to accept his true nature. And maybe, just maybe also be okay with his perversive character. (You'd be surprised to how badly people act when they aren't comfortable with who they really are.) It was in these provocative, urbane, modern ways of this city lass that Chaman found the perfect tool to keep Chudan in check, always desperate for his attention, never secure, always second-guessing her worth, getting all the more 'available' and desperate in the process.

As days turned into months, Chudan found herself caught in the web of self-doubt and longing. Why does Chaman seem distant? Why did he never really commit? And why the shadow of that city girl always loom over her? She felt herself falling down a chasm of misery, realizing too late that she had given away the most precious years, her dignity through all those messages, to someone who always spoke of her as a joke, who was you know 'always ready'? Chaman continued to live a lie, unable to look at the truth of who he was, cornered by a society that wouldn't accept him, and using the people around as shields against the reality he feared. Ultimately, it left Chudan shattered—the casualty of Chaman's inner conflict—who had nothing to do but taste the bitterness of betrayal and the haunting thought that she had become a pawn in the game she never knew.

So she left the hills, the valley’s grace,

A small-town girl, a quiet place,

With dreams of more, she crossed the sea,

To a distant place, to be set free.

But freedom’s cloak was thin and cold,

The dreams she chased, now felt old,

No roots to ground, no ties that bind,

She lost herself, and peace of her mind.

No job of worth, no name to claim,

No trace of a home, no fire, no flame,

Her children will grow up in foreign lands,

Far from the soil where her heart still stands.

In silent streets, she walks alone,

A life unanchored, dreams unknown,

She left to escape, but in truth, she found,

You can’t outrun what’s deep and profound.

Now she’s a nobody, lost in the grey,

Lonely at night, and each passing day,

A girl from Ummajj, now adrift in the world,

Her roots forgotten, her spirit unfurled.

Oh well. The biggest of things happen in the smallest of towns, I suppose? 

Until next time,
Love, always, alwayyys..
S

Genre: Fiction

Image source: OpenAI
Editing and finetuning: ChatGPT, Grammarly